1. I have some many pills inside my purse, travel bag, or cabinet, you may think I'm a drug dealer. (or 85). I take at least 4 pills a day sometimes 5....or 6 or 7 if I need Tylenol or Tylenol PM....
2. I need coalesce like my life depends on it. If you don't know what coalesce is, well its a stool softener. And I swear I can't get through my days without it! Sometimes I even double the dosage.
3. On that note...I need fiber like my life depends on it. I will spare you many of the details....but lets just say I need it for the same reason I need coalesce. And thats a huge need and I'm sure I will need it long after B is born. I mean I love me some fiber: fiber pills, fiber cereals, salads...and yes, yes I know too much of good thing is not a good thing... but I'm attempting to alleviate as much pressure in that area as possible.
4. I get winded walking up stairs. Well, honestly anywhere! And not to mention I walk so slow! It takes me forever and I quite often need to catch my breath just to make the last few steps.
5. I need help getting out of cars and even out bed. Sometimes, its very hard for me to hoist myself up out a car or bed. I sorta have to roll around and get myself ready before I can really make the step. It's a challenge.
6. I have so many aches and pains that are so random and have no real medical definition too them. It's just like an old person, they just "Aww, I'm just getting old"....Well, "Aww, I'm just getting more and more pregnant."
7. I drive so slow you might mistake me for a Grandma. I have a huge fear of being in a car accident while I'm pregnant. (Think Grey's Anatomy....Callie's accident..yeah shouldn't have watched that episode) I'm sure this is another trait that will continue after Berks is born. I'm overly cautious, forget pulling out in front of someone. I go the speed limit or very close to this number. So, the next time you want to honk at someone for being an overly cautious driver...that might be me, just take extra precautions for my precious cargo.
8. Along those lines, I worry about the strangest things. Just as your Grandma probably did when you were younger. One of my favorites was that we HAD to wear socks in the basement, because it was too cold down there, we would get pneumonia. I worry about things like, should I eat this? Should I breathe this in? Am I stretching enough? Is my baby getting enough nutrients? Oxygen? and so on....I'm old worry wort.
9. My breast. I'm not sure how many of you have seen an old lady breasts, but they are everywhere! And they are generally huge...I mean from my short stint of doing nursing work in a nursing home and my own Grandmothers...I feel these things to be true. Now, as of now my boobs are not droopy. But they sure as hell have a mind of their own. Who knows when they'll decide to stick out the side of my bra or move to some awkward position. It's like they have a mind of their own....
10. My mind. I forget everything! I don't remember where I put things. As of now I'm searching for my brush? No idea what I did with that guy. Not to mention, I walk into a room and am think what on earth were my plans for coming in here? If you ask me to something and I don't get it done. I'm not ignoring your request....I simply don't remember you made the request at all. So, if something isn't done remind me again and again. I swear I'll get to it!
11. And finally the last thing I have in common with an 85 year old woman.....My Granny Panties. And I promise you will wear the same thing when you a pregnant. It's ALL about COMFORT. Nothing more, nothing less. And I'll be damned if I'm going to wear thongs when everything on my body is disproportioned, achey, and out of whack.
Ashley, you are hilarious and you're going to be a great mom...I love that you're just a few weeks ahead of me so I always know what to expect! I can't wait to see Baby B and...I will add that I'm looking forward to hearing about the birth the most...since that's what I'm most worried about! I think it will be in true Jenny McCarthy context..and I will thoroughly enjoy it! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment